Facing Your Demons: Sitting with Mara in Meditation
When we are hurting, overwhelmed, or afraid, it’s easy to run—from our emotions, our memories, even from ourselves. But the Buddhist path invites us to do something radical: stop running. Turn inward. Sit still. And face what we fear most.
In the story of the Buddha’s enlightenment, this moment is symbolized by the appearance of Mara—the tempter, the bringer of doubt, fear, and distraction. As Siddhartha sat beneath the Bodhi tree seeking awakening, Mara tried to shake him with illusions, threats, and seductive offers. But the Buddha didn’t fight. He didn’t flee. Instead, he calmly said, “I see you, Mara,” and invited him to sit for tea.
This powerful image offers a path for all of us: to meet our inner demons with presence, not resistance.
Who Is Mara? The Buddhist Symbol of Suffering
In Buddhist teachings, Mara is not just a single being—it’s a representation of all the inner forces that keep us trapped in suffering: fear, craving, doubt, attachment, aversion, and ego. Mara is every story we tell ourselves that we’re not good enough. Every urge that pulls us away from our values. Every old wound that whispers, “You are broken.”
But Mara only has power when we believe these stories without awareness.
Why Facing Your Demons Matters
We all have our own versions of Mara. It might show up as anxiety before a big change, the harsh voice of self-criticism, or the exhaustion of burnout. In a world full of chaos, it can be tempting to push these feelings down or numb them with distractions.
But as the Buddha showed, real peace doesn’t come from avoiding our suffering. It comes from understanding it.
When we face our inner demons with mindfulness, we transform them. We move from being controlled by fear to sitting beside it, observing it, learning from it. We realize: “I am not this fear. I am the one who sees it.”
The Practice: Sitting with Mara Without Fear
So what does it mean to sit with Mara in everyday life?
It means being willing to feel. To be still and honest about what’s arising in your heart. When anger, sadness, or fear shows up, instead of reacting or running, we pause. We say, “Ah, I see you, Mara. Come, sit with me.”
This practice is not about indulgence or self-pity. It’s about presence. It’s about remembering that you are more spacious than any emotion. You are the awareness that witnesses all of it.
"I See You, Mara": A Buddhist Response to Suffering
The Buddha’s simple phrase— “I see you, Mara” —is a practice in itself. It’s a gentle but firm act of recognition. It removes the illusion of control that Mara has when we pretend he isn’t there.
Naming your suffering disarms it.
Try saying:
“I see you, fear.”
“I see you, craving.”
“I see you, old wound.”
And then breathe. Stay. Observe. You are no longer fighting the wave—you are surfing it with wisdom.
A Personal Reflection: Sitting with Mara While on Retreat and Facing My Self-Worth Demons
Last week I was at a retreat. I love retreats as they are typically so healing and a community of love and support and kindness.
I have been in the process of working towards becoming a lay-leader in the Order of Interbeing. I have been at this for 3 years and have grown and healed so much in the last 3 years. I have however had my struggles. I have had conflicts that as of to-date have not been able to fully reconcile. I have forgiven and found empathy and compassion for those I struggled with but find myself unable to serve in a capacity I once had.
In my OI journey, this feels like I am falling a bit short and I feel that maybe my mentors feel this as well (honestly this is probably me just projecting this and maybe a total delusion).
I started the 3 Jewels website originally as a personal reflection on what I love about Buddhism and then as a base for a new sangha with group meetings after the recent election.
I felt like this was frowned upon (but have not confirmed this assumption). Anyhow, in my mind there was this idea of inability to go back to what I once did within my previous sangha and the conflict this caused within my ordination and feeling maybe this new sangha idea was causing harm. In reality, I feel like the 3 Jewels Sangha is a wonderful continuation of both Thich Nhat Hanh and the Buddha.
At retreat though I felt like my worlds were colliding – my previous world and old role and my new world and new role. One of my values is do no harm and so I wanted to – try to do no or as little harm as possible to Plum Village, my previous sangha, my new sangha, and the world at large. I wasn’t sure my actions were being seen that way.
This led me to feeling I may be kicked out of or removed from my OI ordination path. This, I think, was just my own personal delusion, but it felt very real. Then as my mind conjured up this fear I was washed over by a wave of sadness at the potential loss of my loving and supportive OI community. This took me to some awful suffering.
So this and a few other things made my headspace at retreat really tough. I was riding a roller coster of emotions. I felt worthless, useless, unqualified to offer what I typically know I bring to the table. I was a hot mess dealing with this stuff. So much so that one day I really seriously contemplated packing things up and just driving home. This is very unlike me at retreats. I love retreats and find them very healing but I was blinded by Mara and his continual offerings of fear, sadness, self-doubt, unworthiness, failure, and lots of suffering.
Sunday, the last day of the retreat I woke up at 2:47 am to go to the restroom and with all this “head-trash” I was unable to get back to sleep. So I started packing up my stuff and loading it all in the car. Then I cleaned up my room per the location’s specs. I showered and grabbed a coffee at 4:50. I took my coffee to one of the outside swings and sat in the cool dark morning.
I decided to start my day with personal mediation where I used two chants I love – The Morning Chant, and then The Insight That Brings Us To The Other Shore (heart sutra) chant. Although I did not recognize Mara, I did welcome my suffering to sit with me. I addressed all the things I had been dealing with over the last 5 days. What I realized was these were all probably delusions and made up fears and unneeded self-induced suffer.
At the end of the chants I was feeling better even though I was crying (I assume releasing all the stress of the week). Then I put on the recitation of the 14 Mindfulness Trainings which is the core and foundation of our lay-leader trainings. By the end of this I regained my confidence in myself and all I bring to the table. I saw the delusions and my suffering lifted and I had an amazing day and felt much lighter.
I just wish I was able to notice my internal chaos earlier and then took the time to sit with it instead of watering those seeds of fear and imposter syndrome. Somedays it takes us a bit longer to notice our suffering but the more we do it the easier it gets.
Guided Meditation: Sitting with Mara
If you’d like to explore this practice in a supportive way, here is a free guided meditation you can try. It’s designed to help you slow down, breathe, and face whatever is arising with mindfulness and compassion.
Guided Meditation: Sitting With Mara
Final Thoughts: The Power of Presence
Sitting with Mara doesn’t mean that suffering disappears overnight. But something beautiful happens when we stop running and start listening: our demons lose their teeth. We begin to heal. We remember our wholeness.
Every time you choose to stay with yourself in the hard moments, you are practicing liberation.
So next time Mara visits you, don’t panic. Don’t resist. Just smile, breathe, and say:
“I see you, Mara. Let’s have some tea.”
Here are some other resources to explore…
- Mara and the Buddha – Embracing our Suffering
- Want to sit with us and practice overcoming suffering together? Attend one of our virtual meetings.