Spirituality and mindfulness are meant to help us heal, awaken, and live more deeply. But sometimes, even with the best intentions, our practice can slip into something called spiritual bypassing.
Spiritual bypassing happens when we use spiritual ideas or practices to avoid facing difficult emotions, trauma, or responsibilities. Instead of bringing us closer to truth and healing, spirituality becomes a mask that covers pain.
I’m hoping in this article I will help you understand what spiritual bypassing is, how to recognize it in your own practice, and how to move toward deeper healing. I have been wrestling with the idea for a few years now. I am trying to recall where I first started exploring this idea.
I know for sure that myself and two antiracist friends with yoga background dug into it a bit with the book Skill In Action by Michelle Cassandra Johnson. At this point I probably had maybe 5 years of committed Buddhist practice under my belt and I couldn’t see how I could have ever done spiritual bypassing but we kept discussing and exploring.
A few years later and I might have new insights and experiences and other practices that I use to heal (quasi art therapy and somatic therapy). As I reflect, I may have practiced this and even recommended it, but I’ll share more about that in a bit.
What Is Spiritual Bypassing?
The term spiritual bypassing was first introduced by psychologist John Welwood in the 1980s. It describes the tendency to use spiritual practices, such as meditation, prayer, or positive thinking, to sidestep unresolved emotional issues.
It’s not always intentional. Often, people believe they’re being “good practitioners” by letting go quickly, forgiving instantly, or staying positive no matter what. But in reality, this can prevent true healing and growth.
Here is a video I found as I was researching this article a bit that keeps things focused on the Buddhist experience and understanding of spiritual bypassing.
Common Signs of Spiritual Bypassing
Here are some ways it can show up in everyday life:
Avoiding negative emotions: Suppressing anger, sadness, or grief in order to “stay positive.”
Premature forgiveness or detachment: Forgiving others before fully processing the hurt, or detaching from problems in a way that disconnects us from life.
Over-intellectualizing pain: Explaining away trauma with spiritual concepts (“It’s just karma” or “Everything happens for a reason”) instead of feeling the emotions.
Avoiding responsibility: Blaming fate, the universe, or past lives rather than reflecting on our own choices and actions.
Why Spiritual Bypassing Can Be Harmful
On the surface, bypassing looks like progress. But beneath it, unprocessed pain remains. Over time, this can lead to:
- Repressed emotions that resurface as stress, anxiety, or depression
- Shallow relationships that lack true intimacy
- A sense of spiritual stagnation or emptiness in practice
True spiritual growth doesn’t come from avoiding suffering… it comes from looking deeply into it with compassion, just as the Buddha taught.
Healthy Spiritual Practice vs. Bypassing
Bypassing: “I shouldn’t feel this anger. I’ll just meditate it away.”
Healthy practice: “I notice anger is present. I will sit with it, breathe with it, and learn from it.”
The difference is subtle but powerful. In healthy practice, we allow emotions to arise, witness them with mindfulness, and let healing happen naturally, without forcing it.
Does Positive Thinking Lead to Spiritual Bypassing?
In the 1950s, Norman Vincent Peale’s book The Power of Positive Thinking introduced millions of readers to the idea that positive thoughts can transform our lives. The movement he sparked still influences self-help, coaching, and even some approaches to spirituality today.
I was gifted this book I think when I graduated High School. If I’m being honest, it looked old and skills to my 19 or 20 year old self who had the world to live for at this early stage of life. I knew it all why would I need this cheesy book. I probably didn’t read it for 20 or 25 years.
The movement and even this book are still very popular but does positive thinking encourage spiritual bypassing?
The answer depends on how it’s practiced.
When it becomes bypassing: If we use positivity to deny real suffering, telling ourselves or others to “just think happy thoughts” instead of processing grief, anger, or trauma… then we are avoiding rather than healing. This creates pressure to mask our humanity behind a smile.
When it supports healing: When positivity is paired with honesty and compassion, it can give us strength. Optimism can help us find resilience, hope, and creative solutions… but only if we also make space for our full range of feelings.
Positive thinking isn’t harmful in itself, but when it skips over pain instead of walking with it, it becomes another form of bypassing. I am sharing the full audiobook should you be interested in exploring this book.
My Personal Story and Experience: From Bypassing to Deep Healing
When my life fell apart years ago (2013), I was grasping for anything that might help me feel better. I turned to voices like Earl Nightingale and other highly positive teachings, listening to videos and audios as a way to reprogram my sadness and anger. My focus at the time was rebuilding my business after a downturn and a business coach tried destroying my company and my reputation for 6 months.
It was an ugly and difficult time. Looking back, I realize I was probably depressed, carrying trauma and reeling from fear tied to both those things and my new big life change of becoming a dad with my firstborn.
At the time, this “positive thinking” gave me a lifeline, but it may also have been an early form of spiritual bypassing. Instead of facing the depth of my grief and anger, I tried to overwrite it with affirmations and optimism and just positive reprogramming. It was a survival tool, but it didn’t bring the deeper healing I truly needed.
Fast forward 13 years. With more life experience and deeper Buddhist and mindfulness practice as well as some therapy behind me, I faced a new wave of struggle. Conflicts with people in my life stirred up old traumas, leaving me feeling unseen, unheard, and undervalued.
At first, I struggled quietly with this recent suffering for several days. Eventually, it disrupted my sleep, waking me at 3:00 a.m. So I got up, grabbed a coffee and I spent three hours researching, reflecting, and naming what I was actually feeling or upset over. Then I got the family up and got them off to school and work. Then, I journaled for another three hours, putting those feelings into words. I wept during both sessions. It was heavy, but also strangely empowering.
I didn’t stop there. I reached out for help, meeting with my therapist that day and she held space for me to open even further. With her guidance, I uncovered more naming, and also compassion and grace then I couldn’t find on my own. It was a powerful session. Over the following days, I painted, using art as a kind of therapy to process hurt and confusion. I continued my daily meditation and added walking meditations when emotions ran high.
By facing “Mara”, and the inner demons that I once avoided, I discovered a deep release. A weight I had carried for weeks, maybe months, began to lift. I felt like a new person. Tasks that had felt impossible for so long became doable again. I felt “normal” which felt odd as I am not sure or maybe didn’t even recognize how much I was feeling heavy or “un-normal” before.
This experience reminded me of the profound difference between bypassing and true healing. Years ago, I tried to cover my pain or transform it with positivity. Now, I had the courage, tools, and support to face my suffering directly… and in doing so, I found some freedom. I cannot say I am out of the woods completely but this was a HUGE win in my healing practice but also opened up some of the named things I need to continue to work on.
A Daily Practice to Prevent Spiritual Bypassing (5–10 Minutes)
As I was pulling together ideas for the content, I thought I should try to explore what a healthy practice might be for you to use on your journey and one I can lean into as I process further. Here’s a short practice you can try each day to ground yourself in awareness without bypassing:
1. Center Yourself (1–2 minutes)
Sit comfortably and breathe slowly. Say: “I am here. I am present.” I sometimes like to use the phrases Thich Nhat Hanh offers which I like to use either in song form or tied to my walking meditation.
I have arrived. I am home.
In the here, in the now.
I am solid, I am free.
In the ultimate I dwell.
Here are two videos where Thay shares these ideas as a dharma talk and in song form by Plum Village…
2. Name What You Feel (2–3 minutes)
Notice emotions in your body and mind. Name them gently: “anger… grief… joy.” No judgment.
3. Stay With It (2–3 minutes)
Instead of pushing feelings away, breathe into them. Say: “May I be with what I feel with kindness.”
4. Integrate (1–2 minutes)
Ask: “What does this feeling want me to know or do?” Listen without rushing.
5. Close With Compassion
Place a hand on your heart. Say: “It’s okay to feel. I can meet myself with love.”
This practice helps spirituality support emotional awareness, rather than act as a mask for avoidance.
Reflection for Your Journey
The next time you notice yourself wanting to skip over discomfort, pause and ask:
“Am I practicing to wake up… or to avoid?”
By gently staying present with our emotions, we create space for authentic healing, deeper compassion, and true transformation.
Have you experienced spiritual bypassing in your practice? What helped you return to presence? Share your reflections with your community or in your personal journal, you may discover that your vulnerability is itself a form of wisdom.